I Lost My Job. Then I Had to Figure Out Who I Was.

October is an anniversary of sorts for me.

I got my layoff notice at the end of September three years ago and spent the month of October wrapping things up and offboarding. If you looked back at my LinkedIn posts from those days, you would never have known I was going through that.

So many people post immediately and ask for help. And I so admire that. But I tend to process things internally before I process them externally.

I was processing a complex mix of embarrassment, anger, rejection, terror... and yes, profound relief.

It was a lot to process, and I just couldn't do it in public.

Balancing the practical reality of lost income with that stew of emotions helped me realize I had been burned out for years and had just kept pushing through.

Meanwhile, the organization and function I had worked in were making a cultural shift, for good reasons. As the world navigated the pandemic and financial, political and social turmoil, the work I had been doing successfully for years just wasn't their priority anymore.

Sadly, it was more needed than ever, but that's another story.

Budget, headcount and sponsorship were withering. And it wasn't just at my company. Colleagues at other companies were experiencing the same thing.

The financial pressure of losing my income and not knowing when I was going to replace it was my most pressing practical concern. I know it is for most people.

But as I reflect on that time, what I struggled with most was figuring out how to let go of my existing identity and create a new one.

That was much harder than I expected.

Peeling back the layers of emotions and thoughts was complex. Honestly, the most practical path would have been to find a new role at the next level of the work I had already been doing.

And that probably would have been the sensible thing to do.

But something inside of me had shifted. My coach helped me recognize it and see that it was sending an important signal.

I was ready to take a risk.

I didn't know exactly what that meant yet. I just knew that going back to what I had been doing didn't feel right anymore.

And that was both exciting and terrifying.

I think that's one of the things we don't talk about enough when we talk about layoffs and career transitions.

Losing a job isn't just about losing a paycheck. It's also about losing, or questioning, a version of yourself.

Who am I now?

What am I good at now?

What do I actually want?

And maybe the hardest question of all: If I don't go back to what I've always done, then what comes next?

Three years later, I can see that the layoff was the beginning of a much bigger transition for me.

At the time, I couldn't see that at all.

I was just trying to figure out my next step.

If you're navigating a layoff, career transition, or that uncomfortable feeling that what you've always done no longer fits, you don't have to have the next step figured out yet.

As an Executive Career Coach, I help people make sense of what's shifting, reconnect with what they want and begin figuring out what comes next.

Learn more about working with me.

And if you've experienced a layoff or major career transition, what did you struggle with that you didn't expect?