From Frustration to Collaboration: How Curiosity Transforms Relationships

Have you ever worked with someone who turned you off so much that you struggled to take them seriously? Maybe they were technically skilled but emotionally disconnected—so much so that you felt unheard, undervalued, or even dismissed.

Now, here’s the real question: Has anyone ever felt that way about you?

You probably wouldn’t know if they did. You might just sense that the relationship isn’t as strong as it should be. Maybe you’re not getting the cooperation or engagement you need to be successful.

The good news? There’s a simple yet powerful way to build deeper, more collaborative relationships—by engaging your own curiosity.

A Tale of Two Doctors: A Lesson in Curiosity

Over the past few months, I’ve been taking a family member to a series of doctor’s appointments, searching for answers to a puzzling medical issue.

The first doctor came highly recommended. He was knowledgeable, experienced, and efficient. But he was also distant—rushing through the appointment, tossing out concerning diagnostic terms with little explanation. When he asked if we had questions, it felt more like a formality than genuine curiosity.

It left us uneasy. We didn’t trust his recommendations because he didn’t take the time to understand our concerns.

So, we got a second opinion.

The second doctor had the same impressive credentials, but his approach was completely different. He was warm, engaged, and genuinely curious—not just about the symptoms, but about my family member as a person. Instead of jumping to conclusions, he admitted it was too early to speculate. He asked thoughtful questions, listened deeply, and ensured we felt heard.

And just like that, we trusted him.

Both doctors were busy professionals. Both had the knowledge to help. But only one built the connection needed to inspire confidence.

Are You Leading Like the First Doctor?

In business, leadership, and life, we often approach situations with a problem-solving mindset—jumping straight to solutions, focused on efficiency over engagement. But what if we shifted our approach to a curiosity-first mindset?

When leaders lead with curiosity, research shows they:

✅ Improve team engagement by up to 40%

✅ Inspire innovation by gathering diverse perspectives

✅ Build resilient, adaptable teams

✅ Improve retention of key people

✅ Create a culture where people feel valued and understood

✅ Drive personal and professional growth

Curiosity isn’t just a personality trait—it’s a skill you can develop. Like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. And when you consistently lead with curiosity, you open the door to better relationships, stronger teams, and bigger opportunities.

How to Put Curiosity to Work

Here are a few simple ways to shift from a problem-solving mindset to a curiosity-first mindset:

• Pause and reset your mindset before engaging with someone. Remind yourself: “I will lead with curiosity.”

• Check in on a personal level before jumping into business. Ask about their family, hobbies, or interests.

• Let others share their ideas first. In meetings, hold back your thoughts initially and ask for input instead.

• Ask open-ended questions. Move beyond yes/no answers to truly understand someone’s perspective.

• Admit what you don’t know. Be eager to learn from those around you.

Small Shifts, Big Impact

When you make curiosity a habit, everything changes. You build trust. You foster engagement. You influence more effectively.

So, before your next conversation, meeting, or challenge—take a moment. Shift your mindset. Lead with curiosity.

It’s a small change that will transform your relationships, leadership, and results.